we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
