You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
