you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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