So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
