guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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