he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
