Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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