Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize