ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
vagina is talking i cant
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
