So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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