peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish I only lived at night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
