haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
