Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
