also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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