Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
