y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
