God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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