So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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