Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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