i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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