so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
