If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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