My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
