my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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