He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
