I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
