He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
