I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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