The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
