Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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