I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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