I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
