So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
