He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
