just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
