Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize