So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
soo... how was my night?
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