Non-Jews are for practice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
