apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
