and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
