I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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