He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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