she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
