Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
