Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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