I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
