sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
