So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize