He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
