How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
