If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
