What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
