I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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