Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
