I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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