So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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