He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
