Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
