Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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