So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
