Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
