Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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