you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
