so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
