Where is the hickey?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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