I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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