i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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