Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
