My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am naked and annoyed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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