Small penises have feelings too.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
