i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
