I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
