You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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