No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
