they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
