I've blown a few things in my day
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
