The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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