Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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