very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
